6 Tips To Build Self-Esteem So You Can Achieve Anything You Want

by Gio
how to build self-esteem

Selfesteem. A confidence and satisfaction in oneself.

Self-esteem makes you unstoppable. When you believe in yourself and know what you’re capable of, you have the confidence to try new things and accomplish whatever you set your mind to.

The catch? Self-esteem is not something that just happens or that you’re born with. You have to build it for yourself.

FYI, flawless skin and chic makeup won’t get you there. Sure, they can give it a little boost, but they don’t change who you are inside.

So, how do you achieve self-esteem?

Bad news: It takes years. And… There’s no quick and easy way to do it.

But it’s totally worth it. Improving your self-esteem will totally change your life. You’ll feel happier, more confident and ready to chase your dreams.

How does that sound? Here’s how to improve your self-esteem, so you can achieve anything you want:

Self-Esteem Booster 1#: Focus On Your Positive Qualities

Truth bomb: no one is perfect. Instead than beating yourself up for the things you don’t like about yourself (most of them are only in your head, anyway), why not focus on your positive ones?

Here’s how: grab pen and paper. Now write down all your positive qualities and skills. Are you clever, loyal, trustworthy, funny? Do you have a beautiful voice, are a professional at a sport, or are good at taking photos? Write them all down.

Next show the list to people you love and trust. Like your parents. Your best friend. Even a teacher. Ask them what they think your strengths are.

They may point out good qualities or abilities you didn’t realise you had simply because your Inner Mean Girl was too harsh on you (see point two on how to fix that). Add everything to the list.

Recognizing your good qualities and abilities will help you build self-esteem. You’ll appreciate yourself more and realise that you have the tools to accomplish what you want.

Self-Esteem Booster #2: Tame Your Inner Mean Girl

Your Inner Mean Girl has its uses. It can prevent you from making serious mistakes or point out ways you could improve.

But if you don’t keep it in check, your Inner Mean Girl can become your worst enemy. It’ll tell you all sorts of nasty stuff, like “you’ll never succeed at anything because you’re ugly/fat/lazy/stupid/whatever…”

If you start to believe that crap, it’s game over. You’ll stay where you are, play it safe, and never even dream of going after your dreams.

The key here is to realise that no one is perfect. It’s ok to fail and make mistakes. It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough.

Failure is just feedback. It tells you what didn’t work, so you can tweak things and find a better way to reach your goal.

Next time your Inner Mean Girl rears her ugly head, thank her for her concern and tell her you’ve got this. You’re ok with making mistakes. You’ll just pick yourself up and try again.

That’s how you reach your goals.

Self-Esteem Booster #3: Do Something You’re Good At

Need an instant self-esteem boost? Do something you’re good at.

It could be anything: writing, cooking, doing your makeup makeup, taking photos, meeting new people. Whatever you enjoy and are good at.

The more you do something you’re good at, the more confident you become. You’ll start to believe in yourself, in your strengths, and in your abilities.

And when you believe in yourself, you’ll be able to accomplish everything you set your mind to.

Self-Esteem Booster #4: Start Small

If your dream seems too big and unreachable, break it down into small, manageable steps.

Let’s say you’d like to start your own blog. Instead than worrying about doing videos, writing articles, and being on all the social media platforms, pick your blog name. Then, buy the domain.

Once you’ve done that, move onto the next step. Rome wasn’t built in a day – and never will your dream.

Start small and grow from there. One step at a time, you’ll reach your goal.

Self-Esteem Booster #5: Help Other People

There’s nothing like helping other people to get a self-esteem booster.

Helping other people gives you a sense of purpose. It makes you feel good about yourself. It allows you to put your problems away and make a positive contribution to the world.

You can do some volunteer work or donate some money to some important causes close to your heart. Or you can donate the clothes, makeup and books you don’t use anymore.

You can help a friend or an acquaintance with their problems. Be patient with your parents or children. Help an old lady cross the street. Have a smile for everyone.

A smile, a kind word, or a compliment is often enough to make other people feel good – and you’ll feel good about yourself, too.

Self-Esteem Booster #6: Self-Care

I don’t know about you, but when I eat junk food or go long period without exercising, I feel bad about myself. More insecure. Less attractive.

But when I take care of myself, feed my body nourishing foods and go for a walk everyday, my mood improves. Before I know it, I feel happier. More confident. More attractive even. Plus, I have way more energy.

Gaining control of your body, instead than letting your body control you, is a total self-esteem booster. You’ll realise YOU are in control of your own life and, with determination and hard work, can achieve whatever you want.

I hope you find this post helpful. I would love to hear your opinion, thoughts or any other tips you have about how to build self-esteem. Share them in the comments!



LaDamaBianca December 9, 2011 - 8:12 pm

Bisogna amarsi, Γ¨ essenziale. Se non amiamo noi stessi, difficilmente conosceremo qualcuno che lo farΓ  al posto nostro.
Bel post!

beautifulwithbrains December 9, 2011 - 8:46 pm

LaDamaBianca, grazie. E sono completamente d’accordo con te. Bisogna amare se stessi prima di tutto. Solo poi potremo stare veramente bene con gli altri.

Muslimah Beauty December 9, 2011 - 11:57 pm

This is great advice that I’ll be following myself. At times when you’re beauty blogging, you can get caught in expectations and can hide behind make-up and beauty but, when you wash it all of, we have to face our natural selves and there’s nothing we can do but to learn how to love ourselves!

beautifulwithbrains December 11, 2011 - 8:13 pm

Muslimah Beauty, I completely agree with you. Wearing makeup can boost our confidence, but at the end of the day we wash it off and we’re back to being us. If we don’t love that person, you’re never gonna be happy and no amount of makeup can change that.

Annabella Freeman December 10, 2011 - 8:30 am

My husband and I have started a business and the more I talk about it to people and take on portfolio clients the more confident I am! It’s nice to feel good about myself when it isn’t just about my appearance!

beautifulwithbrains December 11, 2011 - 8:21 pm

Annabella, I wish you all the best with your business. And I agree. It’s our accomplishments that make us feel good about ourselves and help us build self esteem.

Viv December 12, 2011 - 10:45 am

All great advice, and yes, it comes with age. One of the interesting things about watching children grow is watching their self esteem develop – and one hurts for them so much when they take knocks!

beautifulwithbrains December 12, 2011 - 6:41 pm

Viv, I really agree. It comes with time and you make so many mistakes and take lots of knocks along the way. You just wanna help children, but you also have to let them handle things by themselves or they’ll never learn and achieve self-esteem. It’s hard but worthwhile in the end.

Janessa April 14, 2012 - 1:44 am

Facebook has been acting dumb lately. Even though I’m logged in, I can’t like your page without logging in again and after I refresh the page, I don’t even know if my ‘like’ was counted! >:[
I’ve been doing #’s 3,5,6 for about 3 years now! I’ve always had bad self-esteem. I can recall times from my pre-K and kindergarten years where I’ve felt bad for who I was. About four years ago, I had one of the greatest teachers ever and she taught me to be aware of others’ feelings and even a small good deed can change someone’s day. So I’ve always been helping out whenever I can since.
Three years ago, I’ve started to do what I was good at and as for eating healthy, I don’t necessarily do that even now, but I don’t drink soda and I don’t eat a lot of junk food. However, I do think I eat a lot of sweets like cookies, ice cream, madeleine’s, brownies, sweetbreads, some chocolate.
I have a ‘bad’ idea I live by (sort of), actually two or more ideas, that I switch back and forth on. So here it goes: 1) What if today’s my last? 2) Am I going to look back a few years from now and say I was just doing homework? 3) Thirty years later and you’ve never [example] froze a cookie before?
Hahaha. It isn’t exactly a good belief but I do follow it.
Whoopee! Another day with beautifulwithbrains! You’ve sure got that name correct. πŸ˜€

beautifulwithbrains April 15, 2012 - 7:47 pm

Janessa, I’m sorry facebook has been giving you problems. I really can’t stand facebook and use it as little as possible, it never seems to work! So frustrating.

I’ve had bad-self esteem for decades and still have issues today too so I can sympathize with you. I’m glad that you met such a wonderful teacher that made you look at things differently. It is so true that even a small thing can change someone’s life and do a lot of good, both to the giver and the receiver.

Eating healthily is something I’ve always struggled with too. I love chocolates, biscuits, sweets too and it’s so hard to give them up. But I’m getting better with age and trying to change my diet slowly by gradually decreasing the amount of sweets I eat and increasing that of vegs and fruits. It is actually working very well. I think if you do it gradually, it becomes a lot easier and before you know it, you won’t be so tempted or even feel the need to reach for the chocolate so often. However, I do eat a bit of chocolate every day. If the quantity is small, it won’t harm you and let’s face it, it does make you feel better πŸ™‚

I don’t really think that you’re philosophy is that bad. If you live life to the full, you won’t have many regrets and wonder what if. Just as long as you don’t use it as an excuse to eat too much chocolate lol. πŸ˜‰

And aww thank you! 😳

Poonpo January 6, 2015 - 5:45 am

Really you have mentioned everything truth ! I loved your points that you have mentioned , building self esteem is very important , but we keep on comparing ourselves with others and sometimes feel low !!

Gio January 6, 2015 - 2:11 pm

Poonpo, glad you enjoyed the post. And that is a very dangerous habit. We should learn to focus more on ourselves rather than on others and how they look or what they do. Easier said that done I know.

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