5 Tips To Learn To Love Your Body Just The Way It Is

by Gio
learn to love your body

Truth bomb: accepting yourself and the way you look is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do.

Society doesn’t make it easy. Instagram and TV are constantly shoving perfection down our throats. They make you feel like you’re not worthy of love unless you look like a supermodel.

And so it begins. The shame. The body hatred. You hate looking at yourself in the mirror and start hiding your body.

It has to stop.

Body hate is dangerous. It makes you do stupid things – like going on drastic diets or burying yourself at home – that damage both your physical and mental health.

It’s not worth it.

You know what’s worth it instead? Learning to love your body the way it is. I know it’s not easy. The road ahead is full of obstacles, tears and pain.

But learning to love your body is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It’ll bring you happiness, improve your self-esteem and attract positive people into your life.

Here’s how to learn to love your body. I hope these tips will help you as much as they’ve helped me:

1. Tame Your Inner Critic

Here’s a novel idea: what if you treated your body as your BFF?

So what if you have cellulite or your nose is slightly bigger than you’d like it to be? Would you tell your BFF she’s worthless because her thighs are a bit dimply?

Of course not! So stop saying those nasty things to yourself! Treat yourself like you’d treat your BFF. Speak kindly about your body. Or if you can’t, focus on all your strong qualities instead. Like your sense of humour. Your kindness. Your generosity.

While we’re on the subject, don’t criticise other people’s bodies either. Just put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if you heard someone call you fat? It’s not pleasant, isn’t it?

So don’t do it to others. If your friends start commenting about someone else’s body, either tell them to stop it or change the subject.

No one has the right to make others feel bad and unworthy for the way they look.

2. Focus On Your Best Features

Have you noticed that us humans like to focus on all the negative stuff? If you don’t like your belly, that’s all you think about. If you dislike your cellulite, it becomes the centre of your attention.

I believe these “flaws” are what makes you unique. But I know that, for you, right now, that may be hard to imagine. How can you go from hate to love and stop obsessing about them?

My fave trick is to take the focus away from them. If you really don’t like something about your body, learn to play it down and emphasize your favourite features instead.

Don’t like your lips? Wear nude lipsticks and wear more dramatic and bolder looks on your eyes to attract attention to that area. Hate your hips? Wear clothes that draw attention to your torso instead.

Then, take it a step further. Focus on your inner qualities. If you’re feeling down because of the way you look, take paper and pen and start writing down all your positive qualities. Are you intelligent, funny and generous? Loyal and creative? Write them all down and look at them!

Those are the things that make you really and truly beautiful, the reasons why you deserved to be loved and why people around you love you for.

Focus on them, not your cellulite.

Related: Get Over It, Cellulite Is Normal

3. People Come In All Shapes And Sizes (And They’re All Beautiful)

Who says you need to be sticky thin to be beautiful?

Nonsense. Look around you. Just as people have different eye and hair colours, they also have different heights, body types, shapes and sizes. Truth bomb: they’re all gorgeous!

Thank goodness we don’t all look the same. Can you imagine how boring the world would be if we were? Heck, models and celebs all look the same, you can hardly tell them apart these days.

Why would you wanna look just like everyone else when you can be your unique and beautiful you?

Your weight doesn’t define who you are. Your inner self does. So throw away that scale and never let your weight affect your self-esteem.

It doesn’t matter how you look. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Never let anyone make you think otherwise!

Related: 5 Reasons To Break Up With Your Scale Right Now

women's magazines 01

4. Stop Reading Women Magazines

When I was younger I would devour every magazine I could get my hands on… and then I’d feel depressed because everyone looked so slim and pretty and toned. I felt so insignificant in comparison.

Stop reading them was one of the best things I ever did. Not being exposed to so many fake images on a daily basis helped my self-esteem a lot.

Remember: the photos you see in magazines just portray an image of beauty that NO ONE can attain in real life. Not even the most beautiful celebs and models look like that in real life.

Whenever they shoot photos for a magazine, there is always a team of stylists, hair stylists, makeup artists etc that helps women look their best. They’re also told which way to pose so that the lights on stage can help disguise certain flaws. Even then, all images are airbrushed and digitally enhanced anyway.

These images are a beautiful fantasy. But they’re NOT real. There’s no way anyone can achieve such unattainable standards of beauty. Stay away from them!

Related: Why I Stopped Reading Women’s Magazines (And You Should, Too)

5. Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

We are all guilty of this. If you see someone thin, you wish you were thinner. If you see someone with blonde hair, you wish you were blonde, too. If you see someone tall, you wish you were taller… You get the drift.

It’s time to stop it. You’re aways gonna find someone that’s taller than you, thinner than you, has bigger lips than you. Comparing yourself to them is just useless. Nothing good ever comes out of it.

There is nothing wrong in the way you look. You’re unique. One of a kind.

I’m sure there are lots of people out there that would love to have your nose, your eyes, your body shape and all the things you despise about yourself.

Why not appreciate them instead?

Don’t compare yourself to others. You’re beautiful the way you are.

What’s your relationship with your body like and how can you learn to love yourself more? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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31 comments

suzq January 26, 2011 - 2:54 pm

Thank you for this article. I truly believe that the whole women’s movement forgot to address this issue and that it is what holds us back more than anything. Look at Oprah. She is one of the most successful women in the universe, yet she continues to focus on her weight. This concept of body image hatred continues to hold us hostage. My work with eating disordered patients constantly reminds me on how far we have not come as women. What good is it if we can bring home equal pay, demonstrate our full capabilities in all career venues or have equal oppportunities, if we look in the mirror and don’t register these successes because we have a tummy or thick thighs?

beautifulwithbrains January 26, 2011 - 9:06 pm

Suzq, you are welcome and I agree with you on everything. It’s so sad to see that despite everything we have achieved, women are still focusing so much on their weight. And there are also countries where women are still discrimated at work or in other aspects despite the law giving us equal rights (Italy, where I live, is just like that) or have no rights at all and I can’t help but think that we could change that if we all stuck together and work to the best of our capabilities. Instead, we’re constantly fighting against each other and wasting our energy hating ourselves for the way we look. I agree with you that this mindset is holding us back and damaging all women. Our weight doesn’t define who we are and if this post can help at least one person see that, then I’ll be happy.

Paris B January 26, 2011 - 3:58 pm

All very good advice Gio! Importantly we are healthy and happy 🙂

beautifulwithbrains January 26, 2011 - 8:33 pm

Paris, thanks and I agree. Health and happiness are the most important things. 🙂

Eleanor January 26, 2011 - 6:29 pm

An excellent point. I love the photo on the left. It really shows how beautiful the body can be even if it isn’t perfect. It would be really great if people would focus more on being healthy, not Twiggy. Occasionally, on some TV shows, the either show or discuss how the altar the images of the actual models, so that they fit their steriotyped idea of what is beautiful. It is shocking how they can make parts larger or smaller, a different color, etc. It would do us all a great deal of good if these sorts of things were shown more often.

beautifulwithbrains January 26, 2011 - 8:40 pm

Eleanor, I agree with everything you said. I think the girl in the picture on the left looks beautiful even though she doesn’t fit the standards of beauty imposed upon us today. The body is beautiful whatever its shape and size imo.

It’s shocking indeed to see how much altered an image can be. The person in the photograph always ends up looking so different from what they really look in real life and that’s somewhat disturbing. There should really be more awereness about this.

Trisha January 26, 2011 - 6:46 pm

This is awesome, Gio! I totally love where you’re going with this. We need to love ourselves just the way we are!

beautifulwithbrains January 26, 2011 - 8:41 pm

Trisha, thanks. And I couldn’t agree with you more! 🙂

Sole January 26, 2011 - 8:15 pm

Great post!

beautifulwithbrains January 26, 2011 - 8:44 pm

Sole, thank you!

Matichica January 26, 2011 - 10:34 pm

Hi, I’m Matilde, from Argentina. I wrote something on my blog that goes very well with your post. I invite you to visit me http://tendenciera.blogspot.com/2011/01/relax-chicas.html
greetins…

beautifulwithbrains January 27, 2011 - 12:37 pm

Matichica, hi and thank you for your comment and for the link. My Spanish isn’t that fluent but I could understand the gist of it and I agree with you. No one is perfect and we should just accept ourselves the way we are and be happy in our own skin. It’s good to see more blogs talking about this, it’s so important to get this message across.

Tammy January 26, 2011 - 11:35 pm

This post is the truth! Thanks for this. 🙂

beautifulwithbrains January 27, 2011 - 12:21 pm

Tammy, you’e welcome. 🙂

Nikki January 27, 2011 - 1:01 am

Aaw thanks for this lovely post! I agree with what’s written I used to be chubby and on the heavy side and I know how it feels to be down ! We should really start loving ourselves no matter what, all our body parts are functioning well 🙂 GOod day!

beautifulwithbrains January 27, 2011 - 12:25 pm

Nikki, you’re welcome and I agree with you. It really is horrible to hate yourself for the way you look and some people can be so mean to you just because you’re not a size 0 (sadly I know that from experience too) and that’s so wrong. We should love ourselves for the way we are and as long as we’re healthy it shouldn’t matter what size we are or how much we weight. 🙂

LatestGirls January 27, 2011 - 8:46 am

Totally agreed. Everyone in this universe is born unique and has unique features.
We all have our own different identity which makes us different from others.
Great post. Thanks.

beautifulwithbrains January 27, 2011 - 12:28 pm

LatestGirls, you’re welcome and thank you. And I agree with you. We are all different and unique and we should celebrate that. 🙂

shruti January 27, 2011 - 11:19 am

Wow, wonderful artcile. You should have been a psychologist, as the way you explain things is just like my university professors. 🙂 Truly amazing content and very relevant in today’s scenario.
P.S. Lately I was getting crazy with the idea of exercise and dieting etc. as in past few months I have put on some weight. But, I guess I can stop worrying about that now. 😀

beautifulwithbrains January 27, 2011 - 12:30 pm

Shruti, thank you. You know, I did take some pscychologist classes in high school. It’s there that I first learned how fake images and adverts can be and how the media work. We didn’t study the subject in depth back then but it was still a big eye opener.

And yes, don’t worry about that. As long as you’re healthy and happy, the rest doesn’t matter. 🙂

Jessica March 2, 2011 - 11:58 pm

In addition to how much I enjoy your blog, I really love that you did this post. Recently I’ve started to really scrutinize my body image and I think it needs a good check as it is starting to get unrealistically negative from time to time. Thank you for sharing!!

beautifulwithbrains March 3, 2011 - 12:09 pm

Jessica, you’re welcome and I’m really glad that you enjoy my blog and this post in particular! I think we are all guilty from time to time to overscrutinize the way we look, but at the same time, that’s not healthy. That’s nothing wrong in the way you look, you are beautiful hun! It’s the beauty standards the media want us to aspire to that are unattainable and we shouldn’t let those bring us down. 🙂

Prettykitty August 25, 2011 - 11:16 pm

Oh Ikr The media is like:

Oh miley cyrus has these curves and Jeniffer Lopez has this and you should do this to look like her and Seriously?!!? Lol. Wow.

beautifulwithbrains August 26, 2011 - 8:20 am

Prettykitty, it’s insane, isn’t it? Everybody has a different body type and we can’t all just look the same. As long as you’re healthy, that’s all that matters.

Prettykitty August 25, 2011 - 11:13 pm

I think you should eat right and exercise, not just in agym if you want to exercise in a gym thats fine but there are plenty of other ways too. Anywho, Yes i agree dont just focus on your bad features and take care of yourself. Peace 😉

beautifulwithbrains August 26, 2011 - 8:19 am

Prettykitty, I agree about eating healthy and exercise. We should take care of ourselves and focus on being healthy, which doesn’t mean being thin (unless that’s your natural body shape of course).

somasam August 7, 2013 - 7:09 pm

Hello, Is the laser hair removal light safe for the body if done for whole body? does it cause cancer? or any other future problems?

beautifulwithbrains August 9, 2013 - 6:02 am

Somasam, laser hair removal can be used anywhere on the body, but the results will vary based on the colour of your skin and hair. This procedure works best on women with light skin and dark hair. Instead, it doesn’t work well on white or blonde hair. I’d recommend you consult a dermatologist or beautician to know if you are a good candidate for this procedure.

And no, it doesn’t cause cancer, but some people may experience scarring or blisters. These are rare though and occur mainly when this procedure is done on people who aren’t good candidates for it, which is why it should be done by an expert only.

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Poonpo January 6, 2015 - 5:04 am

Sometimes i compare my body with other and feels some low , otherwise i love my body very much 😀

Gio January 6, 2015 - 2:07 pm

Poonpo, glad you love your body. Comparisons are very dangerous. It’s best not to make them at all. 🙂

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